Chapter 7
Now Regarding Marriage
7:1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
Apparently the church wrote to Paul asking him several questions, the first one is about abstaining from sexual relations. Some Bible versions present the last half of the verse as being part of what they wrote, while others present it as being Paul’s response. Regardless, Paul responds with some basic marital instruction.
7:2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Paul recognizes the potential of sexual immorality if a person is deprived of sexual relations. He begins with the fact that any sexual relations should only be between a husband and a wife. The Greek word that is translated as ‘conjugal rights’ is ‘opheilēn’ which refers to a debt that must be paid, an obligation. In regard to sexual relations the husband has authority over his wife’s body and the wife has authority over her husband’s body. There is a mutual obligation to satisfy each other’s needs.
7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
They are not to deprive the other from sexual relations, unless they both agree to refrain for a limited time so that they can spend more time in prayer. But they are to come together again very soon, so that Satan will be unsuccessful in tempting one or both into sexual immorality due to lack of self-control.
7:6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
Paul notes that what he is going to write next is a concession (something allowed), not a command. He says he wishes that all men were like himself. He recognizes that each person has their own gift from God that will likely dictate, to some degree, their lifestyle and living conditions.
7:8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Paul continues with what has become somewhat controversial advice (this is not necessarily a denial of its inspiration from God but something that may not have been previously revealed). He states that it is good to remain single. Of course that is not practical as it would minimize child birth and lead to the removal of the concept of family life that the Bible strongly encourages (see Psalm 127:3-5). So why is Paul recommending his readers to stay single? There may be truth in that being single there could be more freedom to do things for God, but that is a shallow argument. It seems more likely that Paul is mentioned it here in this epistle to offer an alternative to someone who may be tempted to engage in sexual immorality. In verse nine he notes that if someone can’t control their desires they would be better off getting married as opposed to falling into sexual immorality.
7:10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
Now switching back to instruction from God, Paul writes that a wife should not separate from he husband. If the wife does leave her husband she should remain unmarried (see Matthew 19:9) or return and reconcile with her husband. Paul adds that the husband also should not divorce his wife. It is clear from the beginning that God considers marriage something of vital importance (see Genesis 2:24). Plus, we know that God hates divorce (see Malachi 2:15-16).
7:12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
Returning to advice from Paul, he writes that if a husband has a wife who is not a believer and that she is willing to live with him, he should not divorce her. Paul then states the same advice in reverse. If a person came to being a believer and their spouse was not a believer Paul reassures the believer that having an unbelieving spouse will not defile the family or the marriage. But there will likely be times of frustration and difficulty, which is why when someone plans on marrying both it is important that the husband and wife are “equally yoked” (being of the same believing mindset, see 2 Corinthians 6:14). But Paul notes that there is notes opportunity for the opposite to occur.
7:14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
The believing spouse brings holiness to their marriage, otherwise their children would not be holy, but now they are holy. That doesn’t mean there will not be problems to overcome. If the unbeliever influences the family to believe in or do something contrary to God’s Word, the believer must prevail.
7:15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
If a conflict arises between a believer and an unbeliever in a marriage to the point separation is the only solution, then Paul states that the divorce should be allowed. God has called believers to peace (see Romans 14:19; Colossians 3:15), not fighting at home! Getting into a relationship with the thought that the believer can save their spouse is not advisable, as Paul asks “how do you know” if you can save them, it not foreseeable.
Considerations
Was Paul Married?
Paul was a Pharisee and likely a member of the Sanhedrin (see Acts 26:10). It was a requirement for members of the Sanhedrin to be married and have a family, so Paul was probably married at one time and was at the time this epistle was written was perhaps widowed.
Marriage
Throughout the Bible, marriage is portrayed as the most intimate of all personal relationships. This might explain why marriage has faced challenges in recent times. Since the fall of man (as described in Genesis chapter three), marriage has been in trouble. We know that God doesn’t like divorce, even though He allows it (see Deuteronomy 24:1-4, which Jesus explains in Matthew 19:1-12). And we know that God designed men and women to work only one way (as explained and warned in Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:26-27). Yet, people continue to treat marriage as a temporary, non-binding, insignificant action and keep trying to redefine the players and parameters to suit their desires.
Since marriage is the model for the greatest and most intimate of all relationships in the Bible, the bride for Christ is the perfect term for His church (see Revelation 21:9). When the work of the church is finished, God will bring the bride to His Son Jesus, and they will be forever joined to together (see John 14:2-3; 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17; Revelation 19:7-9; 21:1-4).
Live the Life God Wants for You
7:17 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.
Paul is advising people to remain in their current situation after learning the truth and accepting Jesus as their Savior, no radical changes. For example a believer is not to leave an unbeliever in marriage. Believers are to walk with the Lord as He called them. Paul then clarifies this in the following verses.
7:18 Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. 19 For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God.
Using the extreme example of something as physical as circumcision, Paul illustrates how things that were once important in the past (Old Testament law) are now no longer required. Instead of trying to “fix something from the past” believers highest priority is obedience of God (which Paul identifies this later in the ninth chapter as “the law of Christ,” see 1 Corinthians 9:21, see also Galatians 6:2).
7:20 Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. 21 Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) 22 For he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men. 24 So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.
Paul extends the idea of making no changes into one’s status in life. The Greek word ‘klēsei’ translated here as ‘condition’ is most often translated as ‘calling’ which would make the verse read “one should remain in the calling in which he was called” which is similar to KJV and NKJV. If a person was a bondservant they are to remain a bondservant. Paul notes that if they have an opportunity to become free, they should do so. Paul tells the bondservant to not worry about it as being a believer means being free in the Lord. If the person was free when called by Jesus they are now a bondservant of Christ. Paul explains that all believers were “bought with a price, “ the blood of Jesus (see 1 Corinthians 6:2). As such, if the person is not a bondservant to someone else they are not to become a bondservant to another human being. Paul again reiterates that whatever a person was when they accepted Jesus to remain as they were.
Considerations
Slave, Servant, or Bondservant?
This is a difficult subject for most believers since, even though there is no place in Scripture that encourages slavery, it never condemns the practice. The Bible does not justify or approve slavery in any way. Since both the Hebrew word ‘ebed' (found 800 times in the Old Testament) and the Greek word ‘doulos’ (found 126 times in the New Testament) can be translated slave, servant, or bondservant, it can be confusing to the reader (and often to the translator). The context of the verse dictates how these words should be translated. The Preface of the 2016 edition of the Holy Bible: English Standard Version (ESV) offers an insight on how these words are used and how they are to be translated:
A particular difficulty is presented when words in biblical Hebrew and Greek refer to ancient practices and institutions that do not correspond directly to those in the modern world. Such is the case in the translation of ‘ebed (Hebrew) and doulos (Greek), terms which are often rendered “slave.” These terms, however, actually cover a range of relationships that requires a range of renderings—“slave,” “bondservant,” or “servant”—depending on the context. Further, the word “slave” currently carries associations with the often brutal and dehumanizing institution of slavery particularly in nineteenth-century America. For this reason, the ESV translation of the words ‘ebed and doulos has been undertaken with particular attention to their meaning in each specific context. Thus in Old Testament times, one might enter slavery either voluntarily (e.g., to escape poverty or to pay off a debt) or involuntarily (e.g., by birth, by being captured in battle, or by judicial sentence). Protection for all in servitude in ancient Israel was provided by the Mosaic Law, including specific provisions for release from slavery. In New Testament times, a doulos is often best described as a “bondservant”—that is, someone in the Roman Empire officially bound under contract to serve his master for seven years (except for those in Caesar’s household in Rome who were contracted for fourteen years). When the contract expired, the person was freed, given his wage that had been saved by the master, and officially declared a freedman. The ESV usage thus seeks to express the most fitting nuance of meaning in each context. Where absolute ownership by a master is envisaged (as in Romans 6), “slave” is used; where a more limited form of servitude is in view, “bondservant” is used (as in 1 Corinthians 7:21–24); where the context indicates a wide range of freedom (as in John 4:51), “servant” is preferred. Footnotes are generally provided to identify the Hebrew or Greek and the range of meaning that these terms may carry in each case. The issues involved in translating the Greek word doulos apply also to the Greek word sundoulos, translated in the text as “fellow servant.”[1]
To the Unmarried and Widows
Paul next addresses the second question the church inquired about, namely about those that are virgins. (see verse one for the first question).
7:25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
The Greek word that is here translated as ‘betrothed’ is ‘parthenōn’ which refers to being a virgin. Paul states that he has no command from the Lord, but validates what he about to write as being trustworthy. He believes that in view of the current pressures in life it would be good idea to maintain status quo. Paul offers no explanation as to what may be causing the anxiety, perhaps the church is so disorganized and mismanaged that it was forcing them to rethink who and what they were. Some believe this epistle aligns with a famine during Claudius rule, while others believe Christian persecution was rising. Regardless of reason, Paul recommended if you’re married do not pursue getting divorced, and if you are not married then don’t look for a spouse. He reassures that if someone does marry they have not sinned, but they will have worldly troubles (if a marriage is not ordained or blessed by God, there will be trouble).
7:29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
Again, the stress-maker is unknown, but apparently whatever it was, a climax was coming soon. So Paul is suggesting that those who are married to live like they’re not, those who mourn to act like they are no longer mourning, those that rejoice to act like they are not rejoicing, those who buy things to buy as if they have nothing, and those who interact with the world to act as if they never had any transactions with it. Paul then warns, that the world as they know it is passing away. This is not a warning of the destruction of the world, but of things that will change for those getting married, the world as they know it before marriage will never be the same.
7:32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Paul desires them to be free from concern. He notes that an unmarried man cares about things of the Lord and can spend time pleasing Him. In contrast the married man is concerned about worldly things, especially his wife and family, causing him to divide his time. Likewise the unmarried or betrothed woman is free to be concerned over things of the Lord, such as how to be holy in both body and spirit. But the married woman, like the married man, is concerned about worldly things, like how to please her husband. Paul notes that he is saying these things for their benefit, not to restrict them, but to help them serve the Lord without distractions.
7:36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.
This section has been interpreted in two ways, the first being from the father’s perspective (NASB), where “his betrothed” is his daughter. Paul in that scenario sees the father concerned over the husband-to-be’s behavior, if it is thought to be with too much passion that’s okay, let them marry, it’s not a sin. The second interpretation is that the “anyone” is the husband himself (ESV, KJV, NET, NKJV, NLT, etc.) and may be concerned over their own passionate behavior, the same recommendation applies. Note that some translations refer to the passions being strong as being a statement of the bride being old enough to marry, which effectively changes the emphasis from the man’s passions to be a reference to her being beyond her youth (KJV, NASB, NET, NKJV, etc.) Paul continues to say, but the man who remains committed to marriage and can control his passion for her does well to keep her as betrothed. He summarizes by saying that the one who marries does well and the one who does not marry will do better.
7:39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
Paul concludes this section on marriage with the statement that a wife must remain married to her husband as long as he lives, but if he dies she is allowed to marry anyone she desires as long as he is a believer who loves Jesus. Paul then adds that he believes that she would be happier if she remained a widow. He then appends his statement by saying that he thinks he has the counsel of the Holy Spirit to say that.
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[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.