Chapter Sixteen
Can’t Wait!
16:1 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. 2 And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.
Even though God had promised Abram that Sarai would have a child, they still had to wait. Now despite the promise, Sarai felt it was time to have a child. Most scholars believe that the shame of her being barren was a heavy social burden for her. Perhaps it was during a moment of watching a servant giving birth or a child playing, regardless, Sarai was done waiting. But what were her options? Perhaps she thought that God was waiting on them. Perhaps thinking like a 75-year-old woman with limited options, she rationalized that the only way to have a child to call her own, even if it was potentially distasteful to her, was to suggest to Abram to have a child through her servant Hagar.
It is interesting to note the use of the Hebrew word ‘āṣā·rǎ’[1] (translated here as ‘prevented’), used here for the first time in the Bible, means to restrain or stop. The word will be used again referring to the closing of wombs in a larger scale (see Genesis 20:18). The inability to have a child was not considered a natural dysfunction, it was a blessing from God. However, if one remained childless, it was often thought to be a curse from God.
16:3 So, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant, and gave her to Abram her husband as a wife. 4 And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress.
Hagar was an Egyptian servant woman that was considered Sarai’s personal property (which would allow her to claim any child born as her own). Most scholars believe she was probably acquired during their short visit to Egypt, possibly even a gift from the Pharaoh. However, her name may have roots with an Arabic word meaning “to flee” or possibly even “fugitive,” suggesting that she may have escaped from slavery. There are several examples of ancient customs regarding children born of a servant legally belonging to the servant’s master or owner (Code of Hammurabi, the Nuzi Tablets, the Old Assyrian Marriage Contract, etc.) Even though Sarai was within her legal rights, there was no attempt to seek God’s guidance. The author of Hebrews would remind us that, “those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” (Hebrews 6:12b)
Abram was also guilty of not seeking God’s guidance and did exactly what Sarai requested. However, as soon as Hagar conceived, she had contempt for Sarai. What was her motivation to despise or dishonor Sarai? There are a number of potential reasons ranging from general contempt of barren women to not wanting to give the child to someone else. Regardless of reason, this was a serious issue as the contempt was apparently more than simply a scowl or angry look.
16:5 And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my servant to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the LORD judge between you and me!” 6 But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your servant is in your power; do to her as you please.” Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her.
Sarai now angry herself, returns the contempt Hagar had against her and forwards it on to Abram. She essentially says, “it’s all your fault!” Abram could have and, since he is a follower of God, should have said no to her plan, so he is partially accountable, if not completely responsible. Interestingly, Sarai is now inferring that God should arbitrate between them; it is a sad commentary that they didn’t seek His wisdom beforehand.
Undoubtedly in an attempt to satisfy Sarai, at least for the moment, Abram replies with an almost cavalier-like response. He tells her that Hagar belongs to her and that she can handle the situation any way that pleases her, and so she does. The scorning was sufficient to cause Hagar to run away.
16:7 The angel of the LORD found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, the spring on the way to Shur.
We are introduced to a new Hebrew word, ‘mǎl·’āḵ’,[2] meaning “a messenger,” which is more often translated as ‘angel,’ especially when identified as messenger of God. However, many scholars believe that since this person is described as the “angel of the LORD” (using the Tetragrammaton form of God’s name, see Considerations under Genesis 2:1-3). it may be a reference to a Christophany (see commentary under Genesis 3:8-10). The wilderness described would be part of the Negeb, as the town of Shur was on a major route between Egypt and Canaan, which may indicate that she may have been attempting to return to Egypt.
16:8 And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?” She said, “I am fleeing from my mistress Sarai.” 9 The angel of the LORD said to her, “Return to your mistress and submit to her.” 10 The angel of the LORD also said to her, “I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude.” 11 And the angel of the LORD said to her, “Behold, you are pregnant and shall bear a son. You shall call his name Ishmael, because the LORD has listened to your affliction. 12 He shall be a wild donkey of a man, his hand against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he shall dwell over against all his kinsmen.” 13 So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” 14 Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi; it lies between Kadesh and Bered. 15 And Hagar bore Abram a son, and Abram called the name of his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael 16 Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to Abram.
After the angel asked Hagar what she is doing, he told her to go back to Sarai and to submit to her. Hagar never questioned the angel; she apparently knew who he was. Many question whether Hagar was partially responsible for the animosity between Sarai and Abram, however, God chooses to bless her, even though this union was not part of His plan. The angel told her that she will have a son and that his name will be Ishmael, which means “God hears,” because God heard her in her affliction. Then the angel prophetically called Ishmael a “wild donkey of a man,” someone who will be in constant conflict with others and, “he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.” (Genesis 16:12b, NLT) Apparently the fact that her offspring will be like an untamed wild donkey and will not get along with everyone, did not affect her from realizing what she was experiencing at that time, saying that he was the God that sees her, and she saw Him. She then named the well at the spring, Beer-lahai-roi, which means, “the well of the Living One who sees me.” The city of Kadesh would be a reference to Kadesh-Barnea, however regarding the city of Bered, this is the only mention of the place in Scripture and the exact location is unknown.
Considerations
Even though considered a fruit of the Holy Spirit (external evidence of God in our hearts), one of the greatest challenges in a believer’s life is to be patient (see Galatians 5:22). The term ‘wait’ is often considered a forbidden four-letter word, especially in an age of instant gratification. The apostle Paul knew this when he wrote, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5) The Greek word translated here as “endurance’ is ‘hypermonē’,[3] which can also be translated as “steadfast” or “patient waiting.” The lesson is clear, we need to learn to wait. Things don’t always happen when we want them to, so we must wait on God. Why? First, His timing is perfect and secondly, we are not wired to fully understand.
There are a number of characters in the Bible that had to wait, often with no explanation. Why did God hold off keeping His promise to Abram and Sarai? We can speculate, but, only God knows why. Sometimes God waits to the point that something promised could only be miraculously fulfilled by God, such as a child being born to a woman too old to have children.
Sadly, many Christians fail to understand God’s timing and desire to push up the schedule. Some may even claim that age-old lie, “God helps those who help themselves,” or believe that they are helping God. That is erroneous thinking, believers must be willing to be patient. By forcing the situation, we may end up doing more damage than good.
When God instituted the covenant of marriage shortly after creation, He designed the relationship to be monogamous, one man married to one woman. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) However, we quickly see marriages out of control in the Old Testament with many examples of polygamy. Even key figures like King David and King Solomon had multiple wives. Odd considering that God prohibited kings from accumulating wives (see Deuteronomy 17:17). It doesn’t take long in reading in those accounts of men having multiple wives, there is always conflict.
While Scripture does not directly address the practice of polygamy in the Old Testament, it is clear that God’s original intent for marriage was to be monogamous. God may have allowed polygamy, but He certainly is not silent regarding the subject. In the New Testament Jesus taught monogamy as the normal marriage relationship (see Matthew 19:4-6; Mark 10:5-9) and the apostle Paul also taught about monogamy (see Ephesians 5:31-33; 1 Corinthians 7:10; 2 Corinthians 11:2). If someone believes that the Bible is teaching in favor of polygamy or offers a form of silent support of the concept, they are clearly not reading the text. The Bible repeatedly demonstrates the result of having multiple wives, and it never presents polygamy in a healthy or positive light. Marriage was intended to be a picture of the covenant Christ has with His church (see 2 Corinthians 11:2), a picture that fits well with God’s plan that marriage is for one man and one woman for life.[4]
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[1] Strong’s Hebrew 6113.
[2] Strong’s Hebrew 4397.
[3] Strong’s Greek 5281.
[4] See Considerations under Genesis 2:25 for further discussion on marriage.