Peter explained to his readers in chapter two that we are to submit to authority (society as well as employment, verses 12-19) even if we suffer unjustly (verses 20-21) following the footsteps of Jesus (verses 22-25) who provided Himself an example to follow (verse 21). So that through our actions others (especially non-believers) will see our love and trust in God is indeed genuine (verses 9) and proclaim the excellences of Him (namely the Gospel, verse 12) silencing the ignorance of foolish people (verse 15) making our lives a living testimony of God’s Word in action.
3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
Now in chapter three Peter focuses on our home life. He uses the term ‘likewise’ connecting the end of chapter two to the beginning of chapter three. We are to in the same way submit to our families. Peter begins with instructions to wives. Before we go any farther on the subject of submission it is important that we first look at the concept Paul wrote about in Ephesians 5:21, that we are to submit to one another in love out of reverence to Jesus (see also 1 Corinthians 7:12-16).
Peter says wives are to submit to their husbands even if the husbands don’t obey God and His Word (see Romans 10:17; 1 Peter 1:23), so that their husbands may be won over (see the truth) without saying a word. Peter again emphasizes that actions speak louder than words. Peter is emphasizing to us that a loving, gracious, and submissive attitude is an effective evangelism tool (see Titus 2:3-5). Peter calls that type of conduct ‘pure’, meaning there are no hidden agendas or any other personal motivations. I feel it is important to interject that this applies to those currently married, if you are considering marrying an unbeliever please read 2 Corinthians 6:14, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of that verse.
3:3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
Peter next explains that wives should not be concerned about their appearances. The word adorning (Greek ‘kosmos’) talks about applying order to chaos[1] which emphasizes external looks only (see also Isaiah 3:16-24). The transformation should be internal, a spiritual transformation, not external (the exact opposite of what is taught to women today). The imperishable (immortal) beauty of a spiritual transformation is very precious to God. There are many books available about this subject including one titled: “Why Should I Be the First to Change” by Nancy Missler.[2] This small book covers this topic very well.
3:6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Peter reminds his readers that there are many examples of this kind of submission in the Bible (including Ruth 3:6-13 and Proverbs 31:10-31) and then uses Sarah obeying Abraham as an example (see Genesis 18:12). Peter calls those that follow in the footsteps of Sarah, by doing good and not fearing in situations that might be otherwise by frightening, as her children (see Psalm 27:1; Proverbs 29:25; 2 Timothy 1:7; 1 John 4:18). Again, this of course does not apply to physical abuse or torment of any kind!
3:7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Peter then focuses on husbands with the same word that began verse one, likewise. Husbands are to in the same way live with their wives “in an understanding way” (the phrase refers to general knowledge especially with regards to doing what is right)[3]. Showing honor as the weaker vessel, Peter is referring to physical size and strength only; not character, intellect, or spiritually (see Galatians 3:28). Peter explains that both the husband and wife are joint heirs of God’s grace of life (salvation). Husbands are to understand their wives and honor them, otherwise their prayers may be hindered. This can be interpreted in a couple of ways. If the husband is praying for the spouse to become a believer and then acts foolishly, the conversion is unlikely. We also know that our sin can interfere with our relationship with God (see also Psalm 32:1-6; 66:16-19; Proverbs 28:9; Isaiah 59:2; John 9:31; James 4:3). Peter wants us to have a positive witness in all aspects of life, which not only includes at home, that’s where our witness begins.
Peter uses several variations of the Greek word ‘hypotassō’ six times (see 1 Peter 2:13, 18; 3:1, 5, 22; 5:5). It can be translated ‘submit’, ‘submitting', 'subject', 'subjected', or 'subjection'. It is often used as a military term. To some Christians today the word is considered a negative term. This is mainly due to either incorrect teaching or from misunderstanding the verse’s context. In simple terms submission is a requirement of order. Without submission there would be chaos and disorder (see James 3:15-16). Jesus submitted to His Father, was that a negative? Of course not! The term in a military application implies putting someone under another, however it can also mean to voluntarily submit or be willing to carry an extra burden (see Luke 2:51; Romans 13:1; Ephesians 5:21-6:9; Titus 2:9; 1 Peter 2:18). Submission is part of God’s design. Regardless of what we may think, we were once under the lordship of Satan but now we are to submit to God. With Jesus we have a new owner and landlord.
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[1] Zodhiates, S. (2000). The complete word study dictionary: New Testament (electronic ed.). Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers. Strong’s Greek No. 2889
[2] Nancy Missler, Why Should I Be the First to Change, (1991) Koinonia House
[3] Strong, J. (2001). Enhanced Strong’s Lexicon. Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software. Strong’s Greek No. 1108