Ephesians 6:1-9 Other Relationships
Our obedience to God and others represents how we respect them. If we do not accept someone’s authority or do not respect them, we have a tendency to ignore or reject them and of course their advice. The Bible supports the notion that obedience and submission go hand in hand, although submission to a governing authority (see Romans 13:1) might be different than the church submitting to Christ (see Ephesians 5:24).
Paul informed us that as children of God we are to submit to others and understand that marriage is the Biblical model for the ideal intimate relationship and example of the love Jesus has for the church, Paul now turns to children, telling them that they should obey their parents. The Greek word translated here as ‘obey’ is a word that implies the need to listen and respond. The difference between the words Paul used to express submission (hypotassō meaning to be placed under) and this word (hupakoúō meaning to hear or listen under) is that the child is motivated to obey their parents out of sense of duty. Paul goes on to say that this obedience is God pleasing and the right thing to do as parents provide the appropriate Godly guidance for their children (read Colossians 3:20).
Paul then quotes the only commandment that relates to the family, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12, ESV) Many scholars will point out that this commandment contains the key principle behind most, if not all, proper human relationships.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Paul adds that this commandment is the first commandment with a promise. It is the first with a promise and it is the only commandment with a promise that will be given only if kept, the promises associated with the other commandments that have promises are something given only if not kept. The original promise, “that your days be long in the land” was specifically given to the children of Israel regarding their stay in the Promised Land, Israel. However Paul’s reference here, “that it may go well with you and that you may live long,” indicates that that the promise “that it may go well with you” and the long life (the word that is translated here in verse three as ‘land’ can also be translated as “on earth”), which extends to us today.
Paul then concludes this section with a warning for parents not to provoke their children to anger. This statement can be interpreted in many ways, however since Paul points to an alternative, “but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” the cause for anger would have been related to discipline and instruction that was non-productive and not Biblical.
The New Living Translation renders verse one, “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.” (NLT) It is interesting to see that Paul relates obedience to parents with the fact that they belong to the Lord. Obedience is an exterior behavior that can easily be seen and heard by others. As Christians we represent Jesus here on earth, any display of disobedience would be a reflection on Him.
The words translated here, as ‘provoke’ and ‘anger’ is actually one Greek word implying movement toward anger, irritation, resentment and bitterness. Provoking anyone into anger is in most cases counterproductive, provoking our own children into anger would not only be counterproductive it would be demonstrating improper discipline and instruction. We need to emulate Jesus at all times, if we feel we are getting angry or desiring to provoke our children to anger we need to stop immediately and pray.
We are told to teach our children the way of God including His statutes and rules so that they will do right and understand justice (read Genesis 18:19; Deuteronomy 4:1-9; 6:4-9; 11:18-19; Psalm 78:1-4; Proverbs 19:18; 22:6; 29:17 and 2 Timothy 3:15-17). We are to demonstrate our love of God and gently teach our children every day. We are also to teach discipline not just in obedience but also discipline in reading and studying the Word of God.
The Greek word used here for ‘bondservant’ is doulos, which depending on the version of Bible you are reading and the context of the original text around it, the word can be translated either bondservant, servant or slave. Words like ‘slaves’ and ‘servants’ can change the meaning of a passage if not defined correctly. Bible translators generally set up rules for terms like these. Here is a section out of the Preface for the English Standard Version (ESV) regarding the Greek word doulos.
In New Testament times, a doulos is often best described as a “bondservant”—that is, as someone bound to serve his master for a specific (usually lengthy) period of time, but also as someone who might nevertheless own property, achieve social advancement, and even be released or purchase his freedom. The ESV usage thus seeks to express the nuance of meaning in each context. Where absolute ownership by a master is in view (as in Romans 6), “slave” is used; where a more limited form of servitude is in view, “bondservant” is used (as in 1 Corinthians 7:21–24); where the context indicates a wide range of freedom (as in John 4:51), “servant” is preferred.[1]
Even though we probably would not define our employment as being a servant to some person or to some company, this section applies to both employers and employees today. Paul is saying that as Christians we need to go beyond what is expected of us (read Matthew 5:38-42). Since we represent Christ to the people around us this becomes even more important to those who might be employers and to those being employed. In a sense we have a fiduciary responsibility to each other. A fiduciary is typically someone who has a legal or ethical relationship of trust who takes care of someone else’s money, business or interest without exploiting any personal benefit (such as an attorney, banker, broker, council member, board member, etc.) However as Christians we should consider ourselves a fiduciary to our employer or to our employees as our actions reflect Christ. Any time we go beyond what is expected from the world’s view point we may appear different and some may ask what makes us different. Peter said we should always be ready to give a defense of our faith if anyone asks us (see 1 Peter 3:15). So why would they ask? They would ask if they saw something different about you in a positive way!
5 Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free. 9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.
Along with often misunderstanding the concept of “fearing God” (see Chapter 22), whenever the word ‘trembling’, is added to ‘fear’ the misunderstandings turn into unfortunate apprehensions. To obey with fear and trembling indicates two things, the first is to recognize that the other person has authority over us and can influence what we should be doing (see also 1 Peter 2:18). The second thing is that we are to take them seriously. If we are flippant or in any way disrespectful our obedience is nothing more than a mockery.
Paul is instructing bondservants (or employees) to obey their masters (or employers) with a sincere heart as they would if Jesus was giving the commands. The phrase, “not by the way of eye-service, as people pleasers,” refers to those that only do what is inspected and not expected (see also Galatians 1:10). Namely, doing something to please the boss in order to gain favor but really does not really care about the job. If we consider doing our job as if we were doing it for Jesus, we would certainly not just do the minimum or what was seen externally, we would wholeheartedly do all that we could do!
The will of God Paul is referring to is essentially what is pleasing to God. As discussed in Chapter 21, we need to know the Word of God in order for us to know the will of God. Paul continues by saying we should do the will of God from our heart, not out of compulsion but out of love for Him.
As employees we are to “render service with a good will,” meaning that we are to do our work properly and efficiently, with the right attitude. We are not to take advantage of others, we are to do our work as if Jesus was our employer.
Paul reminds us that nothing is not noticed by God, when he says, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord.” If we do something out of reverence to Him, for someone else, He will take notice and we will ultimately receive back more than we ever gave (see Luke 6:38 and Psalms 62:12)
Threats are often used to motivate people who are otherwise not willing to do something. Christian ‘masters’ and employers are to stop threatening employees or servants (see also Leviticus 25:43). As Christians we should be able to motivate through love and not by presenting a negative outcome if something isn’t done.
Paul reminds us that the ultimate Master for all people, regardless if employee or employer, is in heaven and that He does not show favor to anyone. Just as the Bible clearly teaches that being partial or showing favoritism is wrong (see Deuteronomy 10:17 and James 2:1-7), God will not show partiality or favoritism to anyone including a believer. Two things we learn from this, one is that God loves the believer just as much as He does the unbeliever and second, just because we are saved doesn’t give us an excuse to treat others poorly.
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[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2001). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.